Talking to Teens About Mental Health

Starting conversations about mental health with teenagers can feel intimidating. They're navigating so much—identity, peer pressure, academic stress, social dynamics—and they might not know how to talk about what they're feeling. Here's how to open the door.

Create a Safe Space First

Before diving into difficult topics, teens need to know they won't be judged, punished, or dismissed. Creating safety looks like:

• Pick the right moment - Don't ambush them when they're upset. Try during low-pressure times like car rides or while doing an activity together
• Start with curiosity, not interrogation - "I've noticed you seem quiet lately. What's on your mind?" instead of "What's wrong with you?"
• Validate before problem-solving - When they share something, say "That sounds really hard" before jumping to advice
• Respect their privacy - Let them know what stays between you and what you might need to share with professionals

Listen More Than You Talk

Teenagers can smell a lecture from a mile away. If you want them to open up:

• Put your phone away - Give them your full attention
• Don't minimize their feelings - "Everyone feels like that" or "High school drama isn't real life" shuts down conversation
• Ask open-ended questions - "How did that make you feel?" rather than "Are you okay?"
• Tolerate silence - Don't rush to fill pauses. Sometimes teens need time to find words

Recognize the Warning Signs

Sometimes teens won't tell you directly that they're struggling. Watch for:

• Withdrawing from friends, activities they used to love
• Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy levels
• Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless, or being a burden
• Increased irritability, anger, or emotional outbursts
• Risky behaviors like substance use or self-harm
• Declining grades or school avoidance

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

What to Say (and Not Say)

Instead of: "You're just being dramatic" or "It's just a phase"
Try: "I can see this is really affecting you. Tell me more."

Instead of: "When I was your age..."
Try: "What do you need from me right now?"

Instead of: "Just think positive"
Try: "It's okay to not be okay. Let's figure this out together."

Getting Professional Help

If your teen is struggling with their mental health, professional support can be life-changing. You might say:

"I love you, and I can see you're hurting. I think talking to someone who specializes in helping teens might be really helpful. Would you be open to that?"

Normalize therapy as a tool, not a punishment. Many teens respond better to therapy than adults do.

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting a struggling teen is emotionally exhausting. You can't pour from an empty cup. Make sure you're also getting support—whether that's therapy, a trusted friend, or a support group for parents.

---

This resource is educational and not a substitute for professional medical advice. If your teen is in crisis or talking about suicide, call or text 988 immediately.